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Humanitarian worker / Human Rights activist / Campaigner / Researcher / Member-at-large of humanity / Citizen of the world

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

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A Christmas Letter - 2008

For the first time that I can remember, I really did not want to sit down and write this letter. Most years, I look forward to reflecting on the year that was and identifying some learning points to dwell in and share. Not this year, and I don’t know why.

Like most I’m sure, I can’t believe it is December, 2008. The place and space that our family finds itself in today is so radically different from a year ago, it is hard to know where to begin. The bottom line is that after 10 years of making Colorado home, we’ve moved. That’s big enough news in and of itself, but we’ve actually moved out of the country to London, England. This year has been about uprooting, moving, and the difficulty of leaving and finding all that is home.

It sounds romantic and amazing to move to Europe. Let us assure you, it is not. There are great things to do and see here, but life is lived everyday, and for us, the everyday has similar routines with now very different scenery. We get up, go to school and work, take kids to practice, wrestle with homework and bills, clean house, and generally stay fairly busy – just as we had done in Colorado. Yet, now we navigate these routines in very unfamiliar territories, and to be honest, it has not been a picnic.

It is ironic that as a child I moved some 30 times before I was 18. One would think that my children would not mind just 1 move, but they have. Our very special Konner especially has felt the pain of missing friends and familiarities the deepest, we think. Most every evening still, he expresses a longing to return home. As a dad, it is a difficult thing to negotiate. Tanner as well has transitioned slowly and has endured the hard lessons of being the new kid in school and on sports teams. For a 12 year-old, these are indeed hard lessons.

How do parents help their children through such times when they themselves are struggling to make sense of it all? We did not invite this radical change, but economic uncertainties forced a decision. In this, we are no different from countless of families in these challenging times. Literally thousands are losing not only houses, but places called home, and for kids, this is all the security they might know.

Home is definitely more than a structure with four walls and a ceiling. It is about family, obviously, but it is also about community. We miss this at times in our individualistic culture. The importance of community in living life is many times lost as we pursue career and opportunity. The transient nature of our society diminishes the role of community, but not its importance. For us, the greatest lost of 2008 has been a community called Lafayette. It is still there, certainly, and we might go back, but right now it feels a long way away.

Loss can mean gain, and we are no exception. We live just outside of London on the east side and have gained new friends, a new school and new scenery. During our first uncertain days here, some people from a local church expressed their faith truly and deeply in acts of generosity and listening and support. Our fridge and pantry were filled and sheets were brought to sleep on as we waited for our household goods to arrive by ship. For about 3 weeks in July and August our house was void of furniture and trinkets and it felt like a vacation. The holiday ended, though, when the truck arrived and the unpacking began. It was a strange day, unloading our family possessions into a new house in a new country. There was a sense of ‘uh-oh’ with the boys, as if they knew this meant we were staying.

Both boys are learning the knocks of English soccer. They have found a place on local teams and are realizing that their skill and commitment level to the world game might have been lacking back in the USA. Here, it’s religion and a very serious endeavour. Slowly, they are catching up.

Each day when the boys get up, they have to dress up in their school uniform. Konner dressed in slacks and a golf-type shirt and Tanner in slacks, shirt and tie, and blazer. To their credit, they have not complained about the new attire, but as soon as they get home, they change.

A benefit of this new life is that Melia teaches at the same school that Konner and Tanner attend. She would have to tell you first hand of her experience teaching in the UK, the differences and similarities, the strengths and weaknesses. She is still as committed as ever to teaching excellence and is finishing her Master’s Degree from the University of Colorado online as this year wraps up. There have been ups and downs in her experience in this new environment, to be fair. We are all hoping that the new year will see some ease in her workload.

I now work for Amnesty International in its London offices. I’ve been travelling quite a bit recently and may continue to do so in the new year. I’m still fascinated with the people I meet around the world who are marginalized and many times brutalized by the systems that exist around them. Poverty still troubles me, and the battle inside of me this year is for it not to defeat me. The world is not a beautiful place for most people. It is a fact that many of us forget all too often. This year, I've been to Kenya, Brazil and Romania and visited what seems the depths of human suffering. I've also worked from Geneva and New York at the United Nations at what feels like the heights of human idealism. I've yet to make sense of any of it. If you are reading this letter, please remember, you and I are the fortunate ones. We should not only be grateful, but active in bringing that good fortune to others. What else can we possibly be here for?

The 10/10 Project has continued on without me, which is a very surreal reality. At the end of last year, a documentary was made on our work in Kenya, which you can view if you like at www.oneplusonefilm.com. For me, it serves as sort of a legacy film, reminding me that good can be done and difference can be made, no matter how overwhelming the issues. This is important for our family as we have literally given all away and more to the rights of the poor and to teaching children. In fact, we might have given too much, which makes our days here in the UK a sort of needed recovery.

2008 has been a year of confusion and clarity all at the same time. We are working on rediscovering ourselves after years of emptying ourselves. Melia and I need to rebuild a relationship. Our home needs to find its joy again. Somehow, someway, we need to make this adventure of living here a healing process. We’ve haven’t figured it out just yet, but there is 2009. I cannot predict what will happen or where we will be a year from now, but hopefully, the important things will be good once again.

To all of you – peace,

Andrew, Melia, Tanner & Konner SYED