How Long Does Foreign Feel Foreign?

When does foreign, strange, and chaos feel like home, familiarity and orderly? I consciously noticed the other day while I was driving that I knew where I was going and did not have to think and concentrate quite so hard. When I crossed the street, I knew which direction to look and it I recognized the pattern of the traffic and why I should look this way or that. I know where to find the bread and milk at the grocery store and I didn’t get lost on my way to church (well I turned around once). Things around me are feeling familiar. I am beginning to be part of this community. I have lived in this place just over a month and our belongings have been here just over one week. School will start in one week and the routine of life and work will begin.

I like it here. There is beauty here. There is a Gorge that takes my breath away on an early morning run. The lake glistens when the morning sun reflects on the surface. And a huge gliding bird sweeps across the lake to find its breakfast. There is green everywhere. Bushes, shrubs, wild flowers and trees are along every walk way. It is a different kind of beauty than we shared in Colorado but still a glimpse of the hand of God in nature.

It did not rain today… yet. The sun is breathing life into my spirit and my bones. I think it will be a good day.
-Melia

NHS (stands for National Health Service)

It is Sunday evening. What a long day. This morning we started the day by taking the train into London. The boys and I were excited. We don’t make the commute into London everyday like Andrew does. Andrew slept on the train. He was not so excited about making the connections on the tubes and then looking for the football (soccer) field to meet his colleagues. He committed to playing on the Amnesty International football team. Today was a tournament set up for different non-profit organizations to play against each other in soccer.

The four of us got to the field in time for Andrew to change into the Amnesty uniform. Because Andrew would be playing many games possibly, the boys and I were prepared to go exploring between games to see some sights while in the big city. We waited for the team to show up first and to watch the first game. The games were quick and played on short fields. We watched the first two teams play to get a sense of the new rules and the change of pace.

The game was over and it was now time for Andrew’s team to play. Andrew was in position. The ball went up the field and back again. Andrew was running well but the ball was still on the opposite field. The ball came to Andrew and he made his first touch on the ball. The touch was not as good as liked so he pushed forward to make another attack on the ball. I took a picture right at this moment. His first touch. The next thing I knew after the click of the camera, Andrew was on the ground. I wondered what could have happened. No one was there. No one could have hit him. He lay on the ground grabbing his leg. Then he was on his back and holding his head. I was so confused. Where did the hit come from? There were a group of teammates surrounding him and then helping him off the field. It was a terrible tragedy.

As soon as I came over to him, he blurted out, “I ruptured my Achilles tendon.”

Now Andrew would know this because he had done it before only it was the other heel and it was 4 years ago. It was deja vu. Last time on a basketball court this time on the soccer field. Unfortunaltely we all knew what this meant. All 4 of us knew. We know what this means. A caste, surgery, another cast, 6 weeks of crutches and then rehab and 6 more weeks of rehab and partial caste. 6 months of no running or sports. A year before complete and full recovery. For Andrew, misery. For the boys and I, hovering and taking on extra chores.

Just like that, one moment and pop. He’s out.

It was a bit surreal and we were a bit dumbfounded.

There were questions and thinking. And who knows where a hospital is? and where do we go? and how do you use the medical system? and how do we get home?

We called a taxi to pick us up and take us back to the train station. We thought it was best to go back home and regroup. We knew some friends in the church would know where to go. We took the train back home and made some calls. Tanner dug out the crutches that we happened to bring in the container shipped over. Thankfully our friends were home and knew where to send us. The boys were thrilled to stay with their new friends instead of spending the rest of their day and night at a hospital. I drove Andrew to the hospital while he navigated.

When we got to the hospital we were sent down a long corridor to another room to check in to be seen by a nurse and have our first evaluation. We realized that hospitals are the same everywhere…no one wants to be there. Things are sterile and uncarpeted. There are many sitting areas, televisions, and vending machines. We waited 2 and half hours to be seen for 4 minutes. The nurse agreed with Andrew’s diagnosis that he did have a ruptured Achilles tendon and then sent him to another area of the hospital to get on a list and be seen by a different nurse and then hopefully seen by an orthopedic doctor.

The wait this time was more reasonable but still after an hour we were sore from sitting. We were starting to pace the floor when Andrew was called back to be seen again. This new nurse did the same thing and agreed with Andrew’s diagnosis and agreed that he should be seen by the doctor and would need a caste.

Another half hour wait, Andrew went back with the doctor. This time a doctor gave his advice that was the same as Andrew’s. They scheduled surgery for Wednesday. They gave him a full leg caste, took an X-ray, and sent us home. After 4 and half hours of waiting, we were in the car and heading back to pick up the kids.

Honestly, this was not much more time than what we would have waited in the states. But the good thing, is that this was free. We will not be billed for the surgery or the caste or the X-ray or the diagnosis. Andrew’s colleagues suggested calling an ambulance to come pick him up from the field and take him to the hospital. We were quick to refuse. We know what ambulance means in the states….$$$$$. But even if we had taken the ambulance, it would no have cost us a thing.

I kept saying how weird that medical attention was free. Then Andrew said, “Maybe our country is weird in this situation.”

Hmmmm. Maybe it is strange that in the US, you have to pay to see a doctor or get emergency attention. Maybe the US is the weird one. I did not expect to see the inside of a hospital so soon. But every one was nice and took great care in helping Andrew.

Crutches here we come.

-Melia

Stuff

Our stuff comes tomorrow. That's all I have to say. We're all very excited.

20 years....

It's 2008. I just turned 38. I remember turning 28. It meant I was closer to 30 than 25. That's why that was significant. I won't tell you what I am closer to now. I don't want to say it out loud.

It was 20 years ago that I graduated high-school. The only reason I remembered this is because a week ago I tripped over a web-site solely dedicated to the 20 year class reunion of Eisenhower High School, class of 1988. Apparently, I was on their "missing" list. Having run away from Lawton, Oklahoma all those years ago, I was quite proud to be on that list. When I graduated, all I wanted was escape - and escape I did. I think I've been back once in 20 years.

That being said, this time I was intrigued. Maybe it was time to not be "missing" any longer. So I signed up. I began to look for a few classmates and see if I could catch up.

In high school, I was a not-so-fast runner on a very fast track team. One of my friends actually went on to win a gold medal in the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. With the Olympics going on now, I was thinking of him, and sure enough, he had signed up on the site as well. I dropped him an email and hoped somehow we could reconnect. I heard from him today, and I have to say I couldn't be happier.

It's a long way from Lawton to London, in more ways than just geography. I was a scared and lonely and insecure kid from a rough town. I often wonder if I'm still that same scared, lonely, insecure kid trying to survive and change a rough world. 20 years seems like enough time to evaluate, to take stock, to come to terms with what I've become, what I've done, what I've not done, and most importantly, who I am and will be.

What I seem to recognize most about where I find myself in life is the fact that I have the most amazing family. Melia. What can I say about her? My boys, Tanner & Konner are everything. These three are my gold medal, if you will. This family represents everything that can be represented in the long journey from Lawton to London.

This move overseas has been difficult for me. Stepping down from the organization I scratched out to start and moving from Colorado has been harder than I imagined. But I've made a decision that our time here in England will be about family. We honestly don't know if we'll be here forever, or something else, but we've decided to reclaim the most important part of our lives. Tanner is 12. We have 6 more years with him at home. Konner is 8, and not getting younger. This time is short, and we are going to be selfish with it. We miss our friends, but so far we're having a good time together.

I don't know why hearing a voice from the distant past brought these feelings to the surface, but they have. 20 years. I've failed a lot during that time. But my wife and kids love me, and I'm learning to live satisfied with that success.

Rain

It's raining out. Hard. Colorado doesn't get these kinds of rains, except in the high altitudes when your camping. Thunder. Distant lightening. Our boys are in their beds, looking out of the windows at unfamiliar weather. Not often do Colorado kids go to sleep with the sound of thunder and rain outside their windows.

Everything here is different. TV is different. Food and currency and words and cars and rain. It rains here. Different is not all bad. But it is different. Watching my two boys navigate this change is both fascinating and frustrating all at once. As a dad, I want to negate the differences and make it home for them as soon as possible. I want to ease their sense of distance from familiar things. But I can't. They have to navigate the change for themselves.

Yesterday, I had a meeting at the Institute of Development Studies in Brighton. Brighton is on the coast, so I took the family, dropped them off at the beach, went to my meeting, then met them all again later in the day. It was great to watch the boys play in the water, jump the waves, body surf. This was no California coast, but there they were, two boys swimming in the English Channel. Melia and I watched them play and I think for a moment realized that they'd be ok. They'd learn to be kids in this new place. We'd find our places to play.

Of course, on the drive home, they both wanted to know when and where we could go skiing.

Sometime next week, our household goods will finally arrive. I'm sure I'll have deep thoughts about the meaninglessness of stuff, but right now all I want - all we want - is our familiar stuff. Our big couch. Our square bookcase. What we are really looking for is familiarity. Some of that arrives in a shipping container, someday next week.

As for now, it's still raining out.

- Andrew

Ox Tongue ---- yes, that's right

Konner and I had found samples to try at the grocery store a few days earlier just like you would find at Sam’s. We went by the deli twice to snag the olive dish. It was delicious. We tried different cheeses that we had not tried before.

On this particular day, there were more samples. Konner pointed them out to me and from his height he had eyed them and reminded me of our recent treasures from the Sainsbury. There were 2 different kinds of meat with cute little toothpicks sticking out of each small chunk. I handed one to Konner and took one for myself. Tanner took his own. One looked like a large hotdog. I didn’t try the hotdog looking thing but the boys did. They didn’t like it. The other piece of meat looked like a piece of pastrami. I put the whole thing in my mouth before looking at the little sign that tells you what you are eating…Ox Tongue…it read. I never told the boys but I swallowed quickly and tried to keep it down without throwing up. I was nauseated most of the day after that.

I did tell the boys later after we came home. Tanner never tried the Ox Tongue and he constantly reminds of our tasting adventure. He especially start laughing and reminding us during meal times.

Today I went for a run. I have run the past 3 days in a row. My first day out I was afraid to go far in fear of not finding my way back. Each day I have gotten a little bit more brave and have ventured out past my initial comfort zone. Today I ran with a map in my hand just in case I got lost. It gave me the confidence to go farther than I had before. I found a fabulous place to run. There are so many trails to take that connect to every neighborhood in this community. It is amazing. It is actually easier to get to places through the walking/biking trails then it is to drive.

There is an old quarry that used to mine chalk that was used for making cement. Now it is reserved as a nature area to have picnics, go for walks, ride bikes or observe wildlife. As I jogged through the underbrush, next to the random lakes (more like ponds) and crossed the valley to the other side of the gorge, I could not believe I was in a city. It was so isolated from manmade buildings. It was a beautiful way to start the day.

I took the boys back to that spot later in the day. We must have passed 20 minutes just watching a swan dive its head in the water to find food while it’s little babies swam around hunting for food as well. It was serene.

There are hidden jewels in this place called Chafford Hundred. I like it.

- Melia

Some daily events from the boys....

In the attempt to get our kids to blog a bit, here is what we have so far. Things are admittidly a bit slow and both boys are feeling the distance from friends - especially in these days of summer that are usually spent swimming, playing ball and sleep-overs.

TANNER:

Last night I tried out for a soccer team. They call it training not practices. It was hard. I guess. The coaches were hard. They pushed us. There were different drills. Chipping was hard because I haven’t practiced it before. Chipping is hitting the ball and making it go into the air. I felt like I was getting it at the end.

I have a friend named Fasiah from church. He is nice and likes to play football (which is soccer). We play together a lot at church.

I miss my friends.

Our showers are weird. The shower is separated from the bathtub faucette. The bathtub faucette is in the middle of the bathtub in the center.

KONNER:

On Monday we went to the mall and went to this candy store and bought 100 grams of candy for 99 pence. And then we went back to the mall on Wednesday and bought giant jawbreakers for 2 pounds. And right now the jawbreaker has a ton of color on it. It has 28 colors on it. I have been eating it for the past 3 days and have only eaten a quarter of it.

On Tuesday we went to this place called the Warren Gorge. There was a trail we could walk on. On the walk we found one big swan and 2 little ones and 2 ducks. The swans would go down under the water and get food and the big swan would drink weird because he would just barely put his head in the water and drink the water.