I stayed up all night watching the US elections. Here in the UK, it was just after 4am when Barack Obama was projected by CNN as the next President of the United States. I lifted my weary head off the couch pillow and watched both John McCain and Barack Obama give great speeches. From across the Atlantic, in a country where I was born but is not my home, I was proud to be an American citizen.
Melia and I both have been Obama supporters. For the first time in our lives, we even made a few donations to the political campaign. By default, Tanner and Konner have been in the Obama camp as well. As they went to bed long before any results came in, I made sure they could appreciate the gravity of the history that was about to be made, no matter what the outcome. An African-American in the White House, or a female Vice-President. Wow. Either way, can we all stop for at least a moment and reflect on what a historic moment Nov 4, 2008 indeed was? This is what I tried to tell my 12 and 8 year old young boys as they drifted off to sleep on what for them was just another day.
It might not matter to you, but I wanted to tell you that the view from most on this side of the Atlantic is hopeful and positive. And I’m not only referring to Obama, though this is certainly the case. The best of the USA was on display last night. The world, deeply divided by conflict, poverty, terrorism, climate change and this economic crisis, still looks westward to a land of opportunity. As they watched a white man concede peacefully and a black man give a determined speech to thousands, what they see indeed reveals the truth. For all its faults, every four years, the USA reveals its true greatness, not in military might but in the power of people deciding themselves who will lead them. The irony is not lost on me that Kenya celebrates while just a year ago it could not do the same in its elections.
I have heard John McCain give two great speeches in the last few weeks. One was at the Al Smith dinner in New York, where Obama was also in attendance. It’s worth a watch on YouTube, in the midst of a heated campaign. The second was last night, in graceful concession. He is a great man. Our country still needs him.
I know he has been a divisive figure, but watching Jesse Jackson in tears last night was quite moving. We forget that Rev. Jackson was there with Martin Luther King, Jr. during the dangerous days of the Civil Rights Movement. He was there on that terrace when MLK, Jr. was shot in Memphis. That famous photograph is not only of Dr. King laying in his own blood, but of Rev. Jackson (and others) pointing towards the roof from whence the shot came. He was there on that fateful day in April, 1968. I wonder what he was thinking last night as Obama became President-elect?
A close friend of mine who did some inner-city work in Memphis, TN years ago tells me a story of an aged African-American woman who marched with Dr. King from Selma to Montgomery. She still speaks of the bricks thrown, the tear gas and the billy clubs used by police, and the amazing verbal hatred hurled at them most every step as they peacefully made their way after three attempts from Selma to Montgomery in 1965. She still works amongst the urban poor in Memphis. I wonder what she was thinking last night? No matter your politics, I sincerely hope you can appreciate the history.
Today, most of us will get up, get our kids ready for school, head to work, and continue to do our best to make this day a little better than yesterday. In that, it would be easy to assume that not much has changed. But change generally doesn’t happen in giant leaps, but in small steps. I don’t know if this election will actually result in anything pragmatic. That remains to be seen. I am obviously hopeful that it will. But I do know that any change I want to see must start with me. I voted, but more importantly, our family has chosen to serve, through teaching children, as Melia does heroically everyday, or through human rights campaigning which I find myself doing literally around the globe these days. We bring change by investing our time in our own children, exposing them to the realities of a harsh world as well as the possibilities that exist alongside those challenges. We bring change when we love our neighbors as ourselves, and when we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. This, I think could work in our neighborhoods, in our cities, and I dare say, it might work in foreign policy. Of course, this is my faulted idealism revealing itself. Trust me, after years of working in poverty and human rights, I’m just glad that idealism is still there. It's taken a real beating the last year or so.
This is not intended to be a political post, just some thoughts as our family watches an historic election from across the water. I hope you read it as such.
Blessing and Peace - Andrew
About Us
- Andrew Syed
- Humanitarian worker / Human Rights activist / Campaigner / Researcher / Member-at-large of humanity / Citizen of the world
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A Day in London with Tanner
Today was Tanner and my day to go out and be together. Every once and awhile, Andrew and I split the boys up so that he takes one and I take the other and we have a day with one of the boys. Today was mine and Tanner’s day. Konner stayed home with Andrew.
So at 10:00 am, Tanner and I set out for an outing into London. Chafford Hundred, where we live, is outside of London. We are in a small community in England but we have the access to the big city of London at our fingertips, if we have the time. There is a 30 minute train ride into the city and then from there are the underground tubes, Double Decker buses and/or walking. You cannot be in a hurry to get there or you will just be frustrated especially on the weekend. The trains and tubes do not run as often and sometimes there are delays due to railroad repairs. Tanner and I were relaxed, we had time and we only had 2 things on our agenda to see; a gallery and a museum. We made our plans simple so we could enjoy the day, be home by dinner and not be exhausted.
Recently, Andrew shared with us a story about a man who is from London who suffers from autism. His name is Stephen Wiltshire. When Steven was a child he was mute, but at age 7, someone uncovered his gift which unleashed his voice and his soul. He is considered a savant. He is the most amazing artist. He flew in a plane to get a good look at London for only 15 minutes, came down, and began drawing the panoramic view of London from a birds eye view. It took him 4 days to complete the mural size drawing. The picture astounded critiques when the detail of the buildings even had the correct number of windows on each building he drew. Breathtaking! Tanner was impressed with this story and could not quit talking about it. So on our day in London, Tanner and my first stop was the Steven Wiltshire Studio near Piccadilly Circus. I do believe, Tanner has a new favourite place in London now. We were inspired by Steven’s work and his accomplishments.
After leaving the studio, Tanner and I walked to Piccadilly Circus to visit Andrew and my favourite London museum that we visited on our honeymoon 17 years ago - which unfortunately has closed down. In its place was the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum (which our family had already been to in San Francisco). Of course Tanner insisted. So we went. It had a mirror maze that was truly eerie and haunting and could cause one to panic when one got so easily turned around and lost. We loved the bizarre and wacky objects but mostly we just enjoyed being together.
It was good to be with my twelve year old son. Tanner helped me to navigate the underground and train probably better than I could do on my own. I was glad that I had him with me.
We had lunch at McDonalds before getting on the train to come back home. I told Tanner, “I can’t believe we were in London all day and we did American stuff.” Ripley’s is an American museum and nothing is more American than McD’s. I still can’t believe I caved on lunch. Looking back though even McDonald’s is a cultural experience in London. The day was a huge success. Tanner and I had a fabulous day in London enjoying the transportation, the buildings, and the scenery but mostly it was great being with Tanner. He is such a great kid.
So at 10:00 am, Tanner and I set out for an outing into London. Chafford Hundred, where we live, is outside of London. We are in a small community in England but we have the access to the big city of London at our fingertips, if we have the time. There is a 30 minute train ride into the city and then from there are the underground tubes, Double Decker buses and/or walking. You cannot be in a hurry to get there or you will just be frustrated especially on the weekend. The trains and tubes do not run as often and sometimes there are delays due to railroad repairs. Tanner and I were relaxed, we had time and we only had 2 things on our agenda to see; a gallery and a museum. We made our plans simple so we could enjoy the day, be home by dinner and not be exhausted.
Recently, Andrew shared with us a story about a man who is from London who suffers from autism. His name is Stephen Wiltshire. When Steven was a child he was mute, but at age 7, someone uncovered his gift which unleashed his voice and his soul. He is considered a savant. He is the most amazing artist. He flew in a plane to get a good look at London for only 15 minutes, came down, and began drawing the panoramic view of London from a birds eye view. It took him 4 days to complete the mural size drawing. The picture astounded critiques when the detail of the buildings even had the correct number of windows on each building he drew. Breathtaking! Tanner was impressed with this story and could not quit talking about it. So on our day in London, Tanner and my first stop was the Steven Wiltshire Studio near Piccadilly Circus. I do believe, Tanner has a new favourite place in London now. We were inspired by Steven’s work and his accomplishments.
After leaving the studio, Tanner and I walked to Piccadilly Circus to visit Andrew and my favourite London museum that we visited on our honeymoon 17 years ago - which unfortunately has closed down. In its place was the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum (which our family had already been to in San Francisco). Of course Tanner insisted. So we went. It had a mirror maze that was truly eerie and haunting and could cause one to panic when one got so easily turned around and lost. We loved the bizarre and wacky objects but mostly we just enjoyed being together.
It was good to be with my twelve year old son. Tanner helped me to navigate the underground and train probably better than I could do on my own. I was glad that I had him with me.
We had lunch at McDonalds before getting on the train to come back home. I told Tanner, “I can’t believe we were in London all day and we did American stuff.” Ripley’s is an American museum and nothing is more American than McD’s. I still can’t believe I caved on lunch. Looking back though even McDonald’s is a cultural experience in London. The day was a huge success. Tanner and I had a fabulous day in London enjoying the transportation, the buildings, and the scenery but mostly it was great being with Tanner. He is such a great kid.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
England Is Not A Vacation
I am sitting in the kitchen of Andrew’s cousin, Shameen. Shameen lives in this beautiful refurbished old castle with her husband Jim and their four children, Max, Tess, Nathan and Rowan. My boys are ecstatic. The house is perfect for playing hide-and-seek in the dark. When you think you have gotten to the end of the house, it keeps going. It is easy for all of us to be quietly enjoying our space in the house and not run into each other. Although, the kitchen can be the busiest and most popular area of the house.
Outside, the grass is green and the house is surrounded by a wood of trees and bushes and a little boy’s exploring heaven. It is often raining here and the cold goes straight to the bone. I wear my scarf and hat inside on occasions. Hot tea and hot chocolate are a must. The boys (all 3) and I have enjoyed sleeping in, leisurely morning breakfast and tea, and relaxing in our pjs until around noon. After a shower, we then slip outside to the car and go for a drive to breathe in the brisk air and let the Scottish scenery feed our souls. It feels like Colorado and it makes us miss it even more than before. The past 2 days, we had warmth and sunshine on our drive. A perfect backdrop to the magical scenery. This is exactly what I needed. I needed to get away and disappear in a novel without thinking about my job and the stresses in England. Sigh…Ahhhh….
Those of you who are jealous of someone who has moved to a different country need to look around at their own backyards and remember where you are and what you have. I love England as much as any. I have always been romanticized by the beauty, the royalty, the history, and the lush green rolling hills dotted with sheep and a steaming cup of tea with biscuits. This is the England I love and have visited often. The romanticized England is on vacation.
When we moved here, I was getting used to the language, the differences in how to ask or explain about something I needed. I was learning how to drive on the left side of the road. I was catching myself saying, “that is weird, or that is strange.” Until I caught myself being redundant and decided I should say, “that is different.” The other sounded cold and judgmental. I feel comfortable now going in to the stores to buy groceries or paying for gas. I have even compared prices with different stores and know which store I should go to get the items I am looking for. I have the routine down and feel comfortable navigating my way to soccer practice, games, and weekly agendas.
Life is routine, that is what it comes down to. I like the routine. It is dependable and mindless. But routine, and mindlessness is not vacationing. England is our place or residence right now and we do not drink in the scenery or live the life of a queen. My coworker, Kelley, said the other day, that we need to remember to stop and smell the roses – she had just given me a bouquet of flowers with 2 small red roses. It was good advice. I had forgot to smell the roses. I have been living the life of duty and obligation.
On the weekends, our family does our weekly chores of cleaning house, doing laundry, going to soccer practices and games, occasionally making it to church, and getting ourselves ready for the school/work week just in time to live out the week and then start it all over again. Maybe your family has this same routine. Ours is not different really we just happen to live in a different place.
This school year has stretched me more than I can remember. It is not the curriculum that I am teaching since it is quite similar to the one back home. It is not the kids really since kids are the same wherever you go. It is not the staff since there are good people to work with wherever you go. It is the planning for 30 kids with amazing expectations and fewer resources. But even then I cannot put my finger on it. I don’t know what it is really. I feel like I am under a microscope but no one has said if what I am doing is right or wrong or even in the ballpark. I just keep plugging along in hope of feedback and praise or even critique. I just wonder what people think. I have been more of a police officer than a teacher which has been disappointing since my heart is in teaching. I want to do a good job and so I keep on.
Outside of school, the boys and I are an American accent haven. We love each other and take all our frustrations out on the people closest and most important in our lives – each other. I guess the culture does play into our frustration and mostly the boys miss their friends. They hate being “the kid from America.” They just want to blend in and mess around with school friends that they have known since kindergarten. This loneliness would be the same if we had moved to Washington DC. It might be more acute here but then maybe not. We are enjoying the experiences that we have. We do not diminish the amazing opportunities that our children and we are experiencing. But we also miss home. It is not a vacation but we don’t feel like it is home either. So in some ways we are caught in between.
Nothing is harder on a mother than watching your children hurt, struggle, and cry. I’m trying to be tuned in to the difficulties that my children are facing and separate the anger from the sadness and the hurt from the joy. It is a strange place for our family to be. I do not regret the move but I know it is harder and more difficult than I would have imagined. Life is funny really. If we were back home, things would be changing as well. Nothing stays the same. I guess it is how you deal with the changes and how well you take the time to smell the roses. There are flowers in everyone’s life. You just have to stop, breathe it in and exhale.
Outside, the grass is green and the house is surrounded by a wood of trees and bushes and a little boy’s exploring heaven. It is often raining here and the cold goes straight to the bone. I wear my scarf and hat inside on occasions. Hot tea and hot chocolate are a must. The boys (all 3) and I have enjoyed sleeping in, leisurely morning breakfast and tea, and relaxing in our pjs until around noon. After a shower, we then slip outside to the car and go for a drive to breathe in the brisk air and let the Scottish scenery feed our souls. It feels like Colorado and it makes us miss it even more than before. The past 2 days, we had warmth and sunshine on our drive. A perfect backdrop to the magical scenery. This is exactly what I needed. I needed to get away and disappear in a novel without thinking about my job and the stresses in England. Sigh…Ahhhh….
Those of you who are jealous of someone who has moved to a different country need to look around at their own backyards and remember where you are and what you have. I love England as much as any. I have always been romanticized by the beauty, the royalty, the history, and the lush green rolling hills dotted with sheep and a steaming cup of tea with biscuits. This is the England I love and have visited often. The romanticized England is on vacation.
When we moved here, I was getting used to the language, the differences in how to ask or explain about something I needed. I was learning how to drive on the left side of the road. I was catching myself saying, “that is weird, or that is strange.” Until I caught myself being redundant and decided I should say, “that is different.” The other sounded cold and judgmental. I feel comfortable now going in to the stores to buy groceries or paying for gas. I have even compared prices with different stores and know which store I should go to get the items I am looking for. I have the routine down and feel comfortable navigating my way to soccer practice, games, and weekly agendas.
Life is routine, that is what it comes down to. I like the routine. It is dependable and mindless. But routine, and mindlessness is not vacationing. England is our place or residence right now and we do not drink in the scenery or live the life of a queen. My coworker, Kelley, said the other day, that we need to remember to stop and smell the roses – she had just given me a bouquet of flowers with 2 small red roses. It was good advice. I had forgot to smell the roses. I have been living the life of duty and obligation.
On the weekends, our family does our weekly chores of cleaning house, doing laundry, going to soccer practices and games, occasionally making it to church, and getting ourselves ready for the school/work week just in time to live out the week and then start it all over again. Maybe your family has this same routine. Ours is not different really we just happen to live in a different place.
This school year has stretched me more than I can remember. It is not the curriculum that I am teaching since it is quite similar to the one back home. It is not the kids really since kids are the same wherever you go. It is not the staff since there are good people to work with wherever you go. It is the planning for 30 kids with amazing expectations and fewer resources. But even then I cannot put my finger on it. I don’t know what it is really. I feel like I am under a microscope but no one has said if what I am doing is right or wrong or even in the ballpark. I just keep plugging along in hope of feedback and praise or even critique. I just wonder what people think. I have been more of a police officer than a teacher which has been disappointing since my heart is in teaching. I want to do a good job and so I keep on.
Outside of school, the boys and I are an American accent haven. We love each other and take all our frustrations out on the people closest and most important in our lives – each other. I guess the culture does play into our frustration and mostly the boys miss their friends. They hate being “the kid from America.” They just want to blend in and mess around with school friends that they have known since kindergarten. This loneliness would be the same if we had moved to Washington DC. It might be more acute here but then maybe not. We are enjoying the experiences that we have. We do not diminish the amazing opportunities that our children and we are experiencing. But we also miss home. It is not a vacation but we don’t feel like it is home either. So in some ways we are caught in between.
Nothing is harder on a mother than watching your children hurt, struggle, and cry. I’m trying to be tuned in to the difficulties that my children are facing and separate the anger from the sadness and the hurt from the joy. It is a strange place for our family to be. I do not regret the move but I know it is harder and more difficult than I would have imagined. Life is funny really. If we were back home, things would be changing as well. Nothing stays the same. I guess it is how you deal with the changes and how well you take the time to smell the roses. There are flowers in everyone’s life. You just have to stop, breathe it in and exhale.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Photo updates
So, we have succeeded in getting swamped with everyday life, so we haven't been posting a blog at all. We have a week off now, which we are spending in Creetown, Scotland. So we are updating our photos. Scroll down if you like to see what we've been up to over the last several weeks. We'll be uploading photos daily to catch up on life in the UK.
Cheers - the Syed's
Cheers - the Syed's
Sunday, October 5, 2008
British Football
As most know regarding us, we are a soccer family. Bored with baseball, not quite tall enough for basketball and not ready yet for football (the American kind)- we love soccer. So, our boys play and have for years. And today was a great day.
It rained all day, but they don't cancel games here for rain. Of course, if they did, there never would be any games. Konner played first at 11am, then Tanner at 2pm, so we were out in the sop all day long. Konner's team played a typical 0-0 draw. Tanner's game was much different. It mercifully ended after two extra-periods at 7-6. Unfortunately, Tanner's team lost, but that was not the story of his game.
The story was, well, Tanner. His team is relatively new and they have had a rough start of the season. To be honest, the team is not very good. And as the 'American' kid, Tanner hasn't gotten any breaks. But today he decided that he would go out and play as hard as possible, no matter what the outcome. I had told him before the game to just be himself, lead by example, and play determined. In the rain, that is what he did.
He was everywhere on that field. While his team jogged, he sprinted. He didn't score, but was responsible directly for three goals that he set other teammates up on. He covered the best player on the other team. He dribbled and passed through walls and ran and worked as hard as I've ever seen him. In short, what he did was earn the respect of his teammates, the other team, his coach, and most every parent on the sideline. Even though the result was not a win, Tanner had won respect as a kid who can play. In fact, several parents told Melia and I that the wished every player played like Tanner - they'd do a lot better. T came off the field smiling, because he knew what he had done.
The day needs a bit of context. When Tanner first arrived here in the UK, he tried out for a different team and was cut after 3 weeks because he "wasn't good enough." Truth is, he hadn't been given a fair shot. This obviously shook his confidence and added to his frustration of being the 'new' kid, but he still wanted to play. So we found another club for him to try out for and they reluctantly took him in. It was a rough introduction to the insanity that is British football, but I think he's earned his spot now.
What Tanner did today was more about life than soccer. He learned that respect is something you earn, and that there is generally no substitute for hustle and hard work. He also learned something about leadership. Tanner has at times been the class-clown (or team-clown) in the past, but now he is on a team of players who need a leader. After today, they are talking of making T captain, and in British football, that is a big deal.
I know I'm a proud dad, but I'm proud of being a proud dad.
It's 7:30 at night, and he is already asleep. It was that kind of day.
-Andrew
It rained all day, but they don't cancel games here for rain. Of course, if they did, there never would be any games. Konner played first at 11am, then Tanner at 2pm, so we were out in the sop all day long. Konner's team played a typical 0-0 draw. Tanner's game was much different. It mercifully ended after two extra-periods at 7-6. Unfortunately, Tanner's team lost, but that was not the story of his game.
The story was, well, Tanner. His team is relatively new and they have had a rough start of the season. To be honest, the team is not very good. And as the 'American' kid, Tanner hasn't gotten any breaks. But today he decided that he would go out and play as hard as possible, no matter what the outcome. I had told him before the game to just be himself, lead by example, and play determined. In the rain, that is what he did.
He was everywhere on that field. While his team jogged, he sprinted. He didn't score, but was responsible directly for three goals that he set other teammates up on. He covered the best player on the other team. He dribbled and passed through walls and ran and worked as hard as I've ever seen him. In short, what he did was earn the respect of his teammates, the other team, his coach, and most every parent on the sideline. Even though the result was not a win, Tanner had won respect as a kid who can play. In fact, several parents told Melia and I that the wished every player played like Tanner - they'd do a lot better. T came off the field smiling, because he knew what he had done.
The day needs a bit of context. When Tanner first arrived here in the UK, he tried out for a different team and was cut after 3 weeks because he "wasn't good enough." Truth is, he hadn't been given a fair shot. This obviously shook his confidence and added to his frustration of being the 'new' kid, but he still wanted to play. So we found another club for him to try out for and they reluctantly took him in. It was a rough introduction to the insanity that is British football, but I think he's earned his spot now.
What Tanner did today was more about life than soccer. He learned that respect is something you earn, and that there is generally no substitute for hustle and hard work. He also learned something about leadership. Tanner has at times been the class-clown (or team-clown) in the past, but now he is on a team of players who need a leader. After today, they are talking of making T captain, and in British football, that is a big deal.
I know I'm a proud dad, but I'm proud of being a proud dad.
It's 7:30 at night, and he is already asleep. It was that kind of day.
-Andrew
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Life Must Be Normal Because.....
...we're busy. School. Soccer. Work. I'm traveling. Melia has parent-teacher conferences. Trying to fit it all in. Needing to be in eight places at one time. The banks are crashing. It seems that life in the UK might not be that much different than the US. Outside of the fact that our surroundings are different, everything else seems to be settling in to the random chaotic normalcy that defined our lives in Colorado. Strange that this is good news.
We're developing a troubling evening ritual in our house. After we're all home, dinner has been eaten in stages and we have half an hour to exhale - we crash in the living room and watch The Simpsons. We've never really watched The Simpsons before, but for some reason there we are, each evening - watching, laughing, cringing... Maybe it's because it is such a uniquely American show in a sea of uniquely bad British TV. Don't know. In fact, I don't know why I'm writing about it.
There are other normal things going on. We don't have time to get the laundry done. Dishes get stacked up. Kids hate chores. Melia still has the hardest job(s) in the world (mom, wife, teacher). And I'm traveling. In fact, I've been to Kenya, am headed to Brazil, will be in NY and then Romania, all in 6 weeks. I love to travel, but even this spins me around a bit.
Anyways, there is a bit of happiness in our house. Both boys have found some friends, which after the last two posts is promising. They still have that issue that everyone in school hates - no one to sit with at lunch - but they do have some emerging relationships.
In a few weeks, school will be out for a week (fall break) and we'll take a week off to go explore. I don't know where we'll go. We've talked about Germany, or Scotland, or maybe Spain to see the sun. The boys keep suggesting Colorado.
- Andrew
We're developing a troubling evening ritual in our house. After we're all home, dinner has been eaten in stages and we have half an hour to exhale - we crash in the living room and watch The Simpsons. We've never really watched The Simpsons before, but for some reason there we are, each evening - watching, laughing, cringing... Maybe it's because it is such a uniquely American show in a sea of uniquely bad British TV. Don't know. In fact, I don't know why I'm writing about it.
There are other normal things going on. We don't have time to get the laundry done. Dishes get stacked up. Kids hate chores. Melia still has the hardest job(s) in the world (mom, wife, teacher). And I'm traveling. In fact, I've been to Kenya, am headed to Brazil, will be in NY and then Romania, all in 6 weeks. I love to travel, but even this spins me around a bit.
Anyways, there is a bit of happiness in our house. Both boys have found some friends, which after the last two posts is promising. They still have that issue that everyone in school hates - no one to sit with at lunch - but they do have some emerging relationships.
In a few weeks, school will be out for a week (fall break) and we'll take a week off to go explore. I don't know where we'll go. We've talked about Germany, or Scotland, or maybe Spain to see the sun. The boys keep suggesting Colorado.
- Andrew
Monday, September 15, 2008
The World at 12
Our boys are beginning now their second full-week of school. Konner has had a better week, even daring to invite a new friend over for a play-date. Nathan came over on Saturday for a few hours and he and Konner seemed to have a good time. In fact, tonight, Konner has been invited over for dinner. I hope he eats!
The taunting continued, and Tanner’s inner rage deepened. This is where things become a bit dangerous, because there are limits to patience. Melia and I know that Tanner, being a predominantly fun-loving, social kid, has his limits and he tends to erupt – even if only for a moment. We did not want things to get to that point. So Tanner maturely asked his mom to come to the school with him and help him tell the principal about what had been happening. That’s what they did the very next day, and not by coincidence, there were no bullies to be found the next three days. They had been dealt with, appropriately.
It is an unwritten boy rule that you don’t tattle on others, but in this case, Tanner did the right thing. An apology letter came from the two boys and things seem to be moving in the right direction now. Tanner continues to be himself, which is all I ask of him. As parents, we continue to painfully watch our two boys navigate some of the cruel nuances of real life. I must say, they are passing each test with flying colors.
If Tanner’s school problems were not enough to deal with, he found out that the soccer team he initially made was too full, so they cut him. So we made the effort of finding another team for him to get in on, which luckily we did. He’s had two games so far and is doing well, but school and soccer aren’t the issues. Finding routine, building friendships and gaining a bit of comfort are what’s needed for our boys. Each day it feels like we get just a step closer.
I am so proud of these two boys. I don’t know what else to say. As parents, we can’t protect them from reality, only help them navigate it. I don’t know if we do a good job. Often times in this move, I’ve felt guilty for uprooting them from their life in
For those of you who emailed Konner – thank you. He speaks of it often. If you want to email Tanner, his email is tannerdrew@gmail.com.
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