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Humanitarian worker / Human Rights activist / Campaigner / Researcher / Member-at-large of humanity / Citizen of the world

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Annual Letter - 2011





Over the past several years in the life of our family, things have seemed to move so quickly forward that an extended look back has not seemed a worthy use of time. Yet, this December, as Melia and I celebrated our 20th anniversary, we have both been intentionally more reflective, not only of the past year, but from where we have come in aggregate. These annual letters to friends and family have served as a guide as we contemplated not necessarily the road ahead, but the road behind.

20 years. It sounds like a long time, and truth is, it is. I cannot comment on the stories of other couples that have been together for more than two decades, but ours certainly has been one of trial and error. To celebrate our milestone, Melia and I went away without our boys to Crested Butte, Colorado for a few days to ski, but mostly to reminisce through 20 years of tears, laughter, confusion, and the odd moment of clarity. We shook our heads as we wondered out loud together how these two souls ever made it this far, still together. We truly do not really know the answer to that mystery but whatever the reasons be, we will take it.

Our life together has been centered around making it, creating a home and giving our two boys as much opportunity in whatever avenues they dream of. I must admit looking back has not been easy as our many mistakes come glaring through. But we are concluding that we are more than making it – we are in fact thriving as a family with our collective ups and downs. Our story is more than survival but one of home and family and all that it has the possibility to be.

The physical exhaustion of raising 2 little boys has given way this year to the mental exhaustion of helping 2 young adolescents navigate their emerging freedom and the myriad of choices they are arrayed with. Of course, this is more so with Tanner right now who is 15 years old and can clearly see the horizon of post-high school getting closer. We see it as well and there are days when we are not quite sure if we want to push that horizon further away or bring it on more rapidly. Tanner has grown into a strong, competitive, energetic, and creative young man. 2011 has proven to be one of his more difficult years in life for a number of reasons, but he has come through strong. We all know there are times when getting through is a victory all its own. This has been Tanner’s lesson this past year. Tanner continues to excel at long-boarding, soccer, snowboarding, and has now added drums and singing in a band to his outlets. He is learning that it is ok to excel at academics, but this is an area a bit outside his liking at the moment.

Konner will not admit it, but he loves school. He made a tough decision this year and chose a different Middle School than where most of his friends were going. The difficulty in parenting Konner will be to have him not spend too much time on assignments and projects from school. He has no problem having fun with his friends, playing soccer, skiing, skateboarding, as well as learning both drums and guitar. With Konner, we work to help him find balance. He is up early each day, ready to face whatever comes. He will be turning 12 in a month from now. He is in the 6th grade and already trying to figure out what high school he should go to in a few years.

Beyond our jobs, Melia and I found some time this year to get away. In July, Melia was able to come with me on a business trip to Indonesia where we were able to steal a few days away and take some surfing lessons in Bali. As mentioned earlier, we also spent a few days in Crested Butte where being together mattered more than the lack of ideal snow conditions for good skiing. Taking a peak ahead into 2012, getting away alone – if only for a day or two – will prove to be more important in the next chapters of our lives, I think.

2011 did have its share of adventure. Melia and the boys traveled to Joplin for the annual cousin camp in June where instead of the normal activities they spent the week cleaning up after the devastating tornado. I am not sure the boys appreciated the experience but they were able to serve in small ways people whose lives had literally been turned upside down by a brutal force of nature almost immediately after it happened.

While they were in Missouri, I traveled back to Kenya with The 1010 Project to introduce a new Executive Director to our partners. It was humbling to see both the growth of the work started 7 years ago as well as how heroic our friends and partners in Kenya continue to be. Honestly, I miss that work on the ground in some of the more difficult places in the world. 1010 continues to evolve and root itself amongst other international NGOs and I remain humbled by the people who work on behalf of its efforts.

In comparison to other years, 2011 feels like an uneventful year for our family. In truth, however, being home more and finding some time together amongst the daily madness are meaningful events in their own right. For me, it has meant less travel so I can coach Konner’s U12 soccer team or simply be around with Tanner as he attempts to navigate the road ahead, both literally as he learns to drive, and figuratively. For Melia and I, it means continuing to nurture our relationship even after 20+ years. We have so much to learn and so much room to grow, which is both daunting as well as exciting.

We are sure of one thing. We have not come this far alone. As we reflected, we thought of so many people who have taught us how to build a home and cared for us along the way. From our early days there was Charlie & Rhonda King, Steve & Rhonda Knight, and Dale & Michelle Marshall. In Houston, there was Tim & Terry Champagne and Gary & Mickie Marshall, both couples who are heroic to us. In Colorado, we owe much to Larry & Marta Williams as well as Tim & Elaine Dally. When we moved to England, Simon & Jane Ward reached out to us while we were in a very wounded state. And we cannot say enough about Mike and Wanda Farra. It has been said that “it takes a village” to raise children. Well, Melia and I were kids when we got married and that proverbial village has surrounded us and nurtured us through each stage, teaching and modeling for us simply how to be. We both sincerely hope that we have contributed as well.

Thank you to all who have been and continue to be a part of our story. Thank you for allowing us in whatever way to be a part of yours.

Many blessings in 2012 – Andrew, Melia, Tanner, and Konner Syed

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